


Last Thoughts

by CommanderKats



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: About to Die, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Feelings, Feels, Grey Warden Secrets, Grey Wardens, Heartache, Heartbreaking, Light Angst, One Shot, Original Character Death(s), Sad, Self-Sacrifice, Their Love Is So, True Love, Ultimate Sacrifice, Warden Alistair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 12:19:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17560277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderKats/pseuds/CommanderKats
Summary: This is a one-shot of the last moments of the Hero of Ferelden before she does the Ultimate Sacrifice, also the last moments of her beloved Alistair as he fights against the Nightmare and their reunion in death.





	Last Thoughts

**ALARYA**

Despite whatever was coming tomorrow the night was quiet, peaceful, only the flicker of fires showing that someone else was out there. Their camp had been made towards the head of the army, famed Grey Wardens who were bringing Ferelden together. It was all a bit much for Alarya. Once upon a time she was just some Dalish with a future that seemed so set in stone, Tamlen and her getting married, being hunters for the Clan, simple and peaceful. 

Then the Blight and Tamlen’s death, Duncan recruiting her and her future forever changed. Even more so once she met Alistair. Here on the eve of battle just the thought of him hurt, she had never loved anyone the same way she loved Alistair. Sure she loved Tamlen but it was young and foolish. The love between Alistair and her...that was rare and beautiful. 

As if being called Alistair made his way through the camp to their shared tent, something they had been doing now for sometime. Oghren and Zevran teased them about it, Leliana spreading rose petals that one time, it had all meant so much to her. That breathtaking smile broke across his handsome face and for a moment Alarya was unsure of her decision. 

Morrigan had come to her and told her of another way, a way that would require Alistair to spend the night with her and it just wasn’t something Alarya could do. She understood what she was doing when she told Morrigan no, knew that either Alistair or her would have to give their life to kill the Archdemon. She had made the decision, she would give her life for the man she loved, for the people she had grown to care for. Still looking at his face and that grin, she questioned herself. 

It was too late to change her mind. Morrigan having disappeared that evening leaving Alarya with her decision and having to tell Alistair. How do you tell the man you love that you intend to sacrifice yourself? Alarya’s heart felt heavy and yet being this close to him, knowing that she loved him with her whole being and he loved her that was something she was going to cherish in the moment. 

That night, on the eve of battle, they made love. The nights had always been theirs and they often spent the time wisely but tonight there was something different, an impending darkness that seemed to stroke their need. Hot and sweaty, hands clutching, breath spiced with love and fear, Alarya gave all she could to him, opened her soul and prayed he saw everything. She cried as she came, her body tight as it burst inside her, an awakening so rich and pure that tears shed her closed eyes. 

In the morning with the battle looming before them she was certain he could sense what she was doing, sense the way she was distancing herself. When the time came it would be hard to leave Alistair’s side and die, she hadn’t left his side since they met those many months ago. She had been some Dalish and him a bastard prince, now they were Grey Wardens about to save the world and stop the Blight. 

Alarya could sense the Archdemon, could sense the time of its death and knew when to strike the final blow. As she rushed towards it massive size her thoughts went to Alistair, she could hear his screams, his pleas. If he hadn’t known what she was doing he knew certainly now and Alarya was sure she could feel his pain. 

Her daggers, sharper than any razor, pierced the soft flesh between shifting scales and for a moment felt her soul connect to the Archdemon’s. There in the span of a moment a lifetime flashed in front of her eyes, memory upon memory, thought upon thought until her mind stopped on that glorious face of her beloved, of her Alistair. She was sorry she had to to do this but to her there was no other choice. Two souls intertwining, too bright to withstand one another, Alarya breathed in her last breath of air, tasted life once more before she snuffed out that light. 

  
  


**ALISTAIR**

Too many years had passed without her, too much time gone from being near her. Nearly every night Alistair replayed Alarya’s sacrifice in his dreams, reliving the fact he couldn’t save her. He had tried, the moment he realized what she was going to do he had tried to get ahead of her, to sacrifice himself but she was too quick. It was a long time he had sat there and cradled her, Oghren eventually pulling him away so they could tend to her. 

He hadn’t wanted anyone to touch her but he also understood he couldn’t sit there and hold onto what was gone. His heart had broke on the battlefield that day and never in any of his days did it heal. With every passing year the wound seemed to grow deeper and deeper, Alistair threw himself into the Grey Wardens, eager to do anything that got his mind off of her. Yet he was a hero of the realm, a savior of Ferelden and the bastard son to a King. 

She would have better suited to live, Alarya had an easier way of dealing with everyone and most people who met her loved her. Him they always seemed irritated around like no matter what he did he did it wrong, it would have been easier had he been the one to die. That was another thought that plagued his thoughts. 

There was no denying he missed Alarya, he never took a lover after she died savoring those moments with her but it was starting to be too much. His heart felt heavy in his chest and a sadness clunge to him, everyone knew who he was, everyone knew the story of his love, everyone knew she died and he lived...without her. Sometimes the thought to kill himself became so strong, damn near overwhelming until he could almost hear her begging him not to. 

Then Garrett Hawke showed up and set him on an unknown course, one that at the time he wouldn’t know he desperately needed. For months they worked on this until one day Garrett wrote him saying they would be meeting with the Inquisitor. The Grey Wardens had gone mad and he needed help solving it, the Calling mixing in with his thoughts was not doing him any help that was for sure. 

No one had told him the Inquisitor was Dalish and the moment he laid eyes on her he had known and his heart broke anew. Sure she didn’t look like Alarya but Juniper Lavellan was completely Dalish and a bit strange from what Alistair could tell. She listened when he spoke, the same focused look that Alarya use to have, he figured it must have been some Dalish hunter thing. 

They all made their way back to Skyhold and Alistair was surprised at how much he liked the Inquisitor. After their initial introduction Juniper seemed more at ease with Alistair and he found himself somewhat happy for the first time in years. She spoke endlessly about a bunch of small things, her life as a Dalish, her new life as the Inquisitor, her growing love for the strange bald elf, he found himself smiling. 

Adamant Fortress. 

Alistair had been there once before and now as he stood with the Inquisitor and her army it seemed like a different place. Something dark clunge to it though it had never been a cheerful place, no this darkness was hungry and wanted to devour the world. They had fought and made their way through to Clarel, and then they were in the Fade. 

Years ago Alistair had gotten a gut feeling, something telling him something bad was going to happen and that feeling was now back as he looked about the Fade. Flashes of Alarya’s smile, her laugh filtering through his mind, he swore he could almost feel her against him but she wasn’t there when he opened his eyes. As they made their way through the Fade the feeling got stronger and stronger, Alistair was now certain he could smell lavender, the smell of Alarya. 

Then the Nightmare. The feeling got stronger and Alistair imagined that this was what Alarya felt the night before her sacrifice, he understood her decision better. The battle ended, they needed to escape but so did the Nightmare. It came, slow and unchangeable, as it made its way towards them. The world seemed to close in on him, focusing on the Nightmare as he heard Garrett offer his life.

_ No! _

He shouted, whether just in his head or in life Alistair knew he couldn’t let Garrett sacrifice himself. In peace, vigilance. In war, victory. In death, sacrifice. The words echoed in his head, stronger with each beat of his heart. He was a Grey Warden, if not this then what was he made for? Juniper’s voice was like a benediction when she said his name.

Without second thought Alistair turned and ran towards the Nightmare, sword at the ready and his shield held against him. He didn’t turn to see if they made it, something told him they did as he continued to hit mighty blows against the Nightmare. Then he felt it, the slice of skin and the bittersweet smell of blood. Light brighter and more radiant than the sun burst around him swallowing everything.

 

**THE FADE**

Alistair opened his eyes to trees, tons and tons of trees. He grabbed at his head, he hadn’t died and instead was in some forest. He looked around expecting to see Garrett and Juniper standing off somewhere but nothing just a warm glow on everything. Figuring he couldn’t lay there forever he slowly got up and made his way through some of the trees. After a little while Alistair realized he was being followed or at the very least watched, his heart leapt in his chest as he glanced around him. 

Eventually the trees broke and within a small clear was a campsite, similar to the one he shared with Alarya though this one seemed more homey. Stepping out of the trees and walking towards the small hut hoping someone was home, that’s when he smelt it...lavender. His heart began to beat faster within his chest as the smell got stronger and stronger. 

“Well hello my prince.” Her voice sweeter than honey as he stopped and turned seeing Alarya standing there holding some wood, a heartwarming smile on her face, “I was wondering how long it would be.”

He stepped closer to her, “Your not alive.” His voice breaking as he said the words.

She chuckled, smiling even more at him, “Neither are you.” She dropped the wood off next to the front of the hut then turned back towards him, “Are you okay?” 

Alistair hadn’t noticed he was holding his breath though he also noticed he didn’t exactly have to breath either. He jumped and shouted, closing that short distance between Alarya and him. His lips crushed into hers, a force stronger than death itself beat in his veins as he kissed her with all the lost passion of the last decade. 

“I love you,” He said as he cooled the kiss, “I love you,” He spoke in between the kisses, “I can’t believe,” He said breathlessly then suddenly he stopped and looked about himself, “Alarya my love where are we?” 

Those brilliant green eyes lit up, “This is where I thought we would live after the Blight was over.” He looked about the small clearing finally understanding the homey feeling of it, it was him home with his love. Alistair turned back towards her, his hand cupping her face and kissed her again, feeling like it was the first time all over again. 

 


End file.
